The Weight of Being: My Body in My Hands

I feel very proud to be a part of this exhibition thanks to ceramic artist Sam Lucas and artist Nick Grellier. It is called The Weight of Being: My Body in My Hands and the call out was circulated for people to made how it feels to be in their body. The response has been immense. Such diverse visual representations are brought together by similarities. What is striking is how the ‘feel’ element has led to this textural, layered, complex non-representational body of works that is still so evidently human. The visual and textural diversity is almost as if this is what is relatable.

The text that accompanies my piece reads:

***Trigger warning ❗️ eating disorder experience ***

This is my body (and mind) in my hands. Slowly reclaimed but still scarred from over a decade of eating disorders and body image preoccupation that began as a child. It’s insidious in our culture and is enabled by consumerism, fatphobic attitudes, and false assumptions about what someone with an eating disorder looks like.

I flitted between being of a ‘healthy BMI’ to overweight-obese while I was suffering. I was never underweight, yet my everyday was disabled by these illnesses and my obsessive need to tend to them and fix myself. I thought they would help me fit in. Help me to be wanted.

I got tired. Something flipped and I knew I couldn’t do this anymore. This realisation is what helped me more than the very few therapy and dietician sessions I was given. What helped me even more was going to university and finding feminism. Reading books that was asking questions about society and amplifying women’s experiences turned the lens away from myself as the problem to be fixed. It was like I opened my eyes and I’ve not been able to shut them since.

This isn’t to say that all the ingrained beliefs are gone, they’re not, but I now have a critical, protective buffer around myself. One that allows me to reach out for food in an enjoyable and mentally healthy way. My relationship with my body is not ‘fixed’, but it’s closer to neutral and that’s ok. And I bloody love food now, unabashedly - apart from mash potatoes. They’re gross.

Thanks Sam and Nick for putting this collection and exhibition together, it’s been so inspiring to see responses. What a visual conversation!

#mybodyinmyhands

#eatingdisorderrecovery

The curators asked what was the most important part of this process for the people who have submitted their responses, was it the making or the showing. Again, the different responses is what shows how important this work is. Unfortunately, due to how busy I am, I won’t get to see the work in person, but I really hope it travels so I can see it at a later date. Huge thank you to both Sam and Nick for curating this important work.

Read more about the exhibition here: My Body in my Hands

Visit the exhibition:

Friday, May 5, 2023 , 10:00 AM - Saturday, May 13, 2023, 5:00 PM

SVA Stroud Valleys Artspace, Stroud, United Kingdom, GL5 2HA.